Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears (or Bat Wings)
by Aquailita
Summary: Marik knows that yami hair defies gravity. But what's with those random bat-wings/bunny-ears/whateveryoucallthems on Bakura's head? Why does he seem so... PHYSICALLY sensitive about them? After watching an episode of Hetalia, Marik thinks he might know why... And decides that he wants to test his theory out. YGOTAS. Thiefshipping. Yaoi (almost). Sequel exists.
1. Sensitive About Hair

Summary: Marik knows that yami hair defies gravity. But what's with those bat-wings or bunny-ears or whateveryoucallthems on Bakura's head? They're just so random! And Bakura is so sensitive about them! After watching an episode of Hetalia, Marik thinks he might know why... And then he decides that he wants to test the theory out. (Is better if you have watched Episode 25 of Hetalia World Series.) Abridged personalities.

Rating: T... FOR NOW!

Characters: Marik I. and Yami Bakura

Genre: Humor/Romance

* * *

**I have too many of these things... I need to start getting back in to Hetalia...  
The idea behind this is probably crazy and unreasonable, but I'm sure that the story is epic enough that no one really cares... ^3^**

**This is another random idea. And this is one of my first thiefshipping-centerd fics. I hope that reading it is just as exciting for you as writing it was for me!  
And believe me... it was _VERRRRRYYY_ exciting. _VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRY Y_ exciting...  
Tee hee hee!**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia World Series, Google, Bakura's hair, or Marik's [EFF!] sound EFFect._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

"Bakura~!"

Bakura looked up from his book at his extremely girly Egyptian roommate. "Marik, what do you want?"

Marik skipped over and plopped down on the couch next to him. "This is probably a very random question to ask..."

"I hope that 'random' doesn't mean 'ridiculous'."

"No it doesn't. Um... Have you ever poked someone's eye out with those bunny ears on your head?"

Bakura gave Marik a look that asked "are you serious?"

Marik returned the look with a serious face that said "yes".

Bakura answered the question by shoving his hand in Marik's face.

"AAHH!" he cried as Bakura shoved his head into the back of the couch. "What the frig was that for?!" he shouted.

Bakura moved his hand away and went back to reading. "I thought you said that this wasn't a ridiculous question."

"It wasn't! I'm being serious! What are those bunny ears for anyway?"

Bakura shook his head at Marik's idiocy. "They're not bunny ears, Marik. And no I haven't. How is that even possible? They're not sturdy enough to stab anyone."

Marik looked confused. "Well then how does it stay up like that?"

"Yami hair defies gravity."

"Wha?"

"You remember Melvin's hair?"

Marik thought about it. "Uh. No. Oh wait yeah I do." Bakura had shown him a picture he had taken of Melvin while he was drunk and had been blackmailing him with it, much to Marik's delight. In fact, Bakura liked blackmailing _both_ of them with embarrassing photos.

"So it does... But still... Why do you have those bunny ears anyway? They're just... There! And so random." Marik reached out a hand to touch one of them.

When he did, Bakura snapped at the hand and tried to bite him. He quickly drew back. "First of all," Bakura said to him, "they're not bloody bunny ears. They're bat wings. Second, don't ever touch them or try to touch you again or else I will probably murder you."

"Probably?"

Bakura stood up abruptly and walked out of the room. "Don't touch. Please."

Marik watched him walk away, caught on the last word he had said: "Please".

Did Bakura just ask politely? Marik had sensed a bit of desperation in the word. But why?

There was only one reason he could think of at the moment.

"Sorry to annoy you so much..." he muttered. Obviously Bakura was just tired and irritated. Typical.

Marik also got up and headed for his room.

To watch anime on the computer.

* * *

"Aw... Chibi Romano..."

Marik was watching Hetalia. It was interesting to him. His favorite characters were Egypt, Japan, America, and England. America reminded him of himself, he liked Egypt because he was Egyptian, and he liked England because...for a reason. Japan was just because he and Bakura lived in Japan. He secretly liked to pair up Egypt and England.

Right now, he was watching episode 25 of World Series, with Chibimano and Spain. Romano had barged into Spain's room to thank him for rescuing him in the previous episode.

Now Spain was ruffling Chimano's hair lovingly. Romano kept saying _\"Don't touch me..."\_

Suddenly, Spain's hand moved to Romano's curl.

Romano shot up and rocketed into Spain's stomach. _\"DON'T TOUCH THAT!"\_

"Huh?" Marik didn't understand Romano's reaction and paused the episode to wonder about it. _Why did he freak out like that?_ he thought to himself._ It's just hair. Right?_ It reminded him of how Bakura had reacted a few minutes ago.

Marik knew that this was also a manga, so maybe there was something he didn't know that wasn't explained in the show.

"There's only one way to find out," Marik said softly. He stood up and pointed dramatically at the computer, then shouted just as dramatically, "To Google we must go!"

"Great search engine in the sky, hear my cry! Transform my question from unknown to answered and search the web for the answer! Unlock the websites from around the world so that I may know about the Italy's curls! Search my question as I call your name: Google dot com!"

In his room, Bakura listened to Marik make another version of Mega Ultra Chicken's summoning chant. He perked up at the words "the Italy's curls" and stared in surprise at the door, behind which was Marik's door across the hall. He knew about Hetalia. And he knew that the...

For some reason, his face reddened slighty.

Marik had found a page that would answer his question. It was a character profile.

"Ah Kay..." he murmured. "Blah blah blah brown hair... Blah blah blah... long Curl... Okay..." he kept reading, leaning close to the screen as he did. When he found his answer, he drew back and shouted it out. "Erogenous zone?! What the [EFF!]?!"

* * *

"Hey Bakura!" Marik shouted. "Come check this crazy-ass thing I just found out!"

A few seconds later, Bakura slammed Marik's bedroom door open and stormed inside. "What the bugger do you want?" he asked irritatedly.

Marik pointed at the screen. "Look at this! I found out something weird about the Italy's curls."

Bakura warily walked over to where Marik sat, put an arm around his chair, and gazed at the computer screen. But he already knew what Marik was showing him, and didn't really want to hear it. "Yes?"

"Apparently, the curls are their erogenous zones! How weird is that?"

Bakura sighed and hoped that the answer to his next question was 'No'. "Marik, do you even know what that means?"

Marik looked slightly insulted. "Of course I do! Just because I lived in a tomb for most of my life doesn't mean I don't know stuff! I have a freaking computer! I know stuff!" He shook his head and cheered up again. "Anyway, what do you think of that?! It's totally crazy to feel like that through your hair! I mean, it would almost be like you're bunny ears being the same way! Right, 'Kura?" Marik subconsciously had been slowly reaching his hand to touch one of them. At the last moment, Bakura noticed and bit his hand hard. Then he ran out of the room.

"OH MY FRIGGING RA," Marik screamed, holding his now bleeding hand in pain. "SOMEONE HELP ME MY KITTY CAT JUST EFFING BIT ME AND NOW I HAVE BRITISH RABBIES!"

Bakura ran back and peeked his head inside the room for a few seconds to quickly comment, "Not a kitty!"

Before he left again, Marik noticed a blush on his face.

Why was Bakura randomly acting so sensitive about his hair?

Marik looked back and forth between the computer screen and Bakura's closed door across the hall.

Then he focused back on the screen again. Especially the thing about the hair...

"OH MY FRIGGING GOSH Ba-mmmhppphh..." he covered his mouth before he blurted out something he didn't want Bakura to hear.

He suspected that Bakura's bat wings were for him what Italy and Romano's curls were for them.

* * *

**HEHEHEHEHE...**

**I know that all of you thiefshipping fans are just DYING to know what Marik does about this theory he has!**

**Do you want to know what happens next...?  
Fangirl- TELL ME!  
Me- Oh you'll find out. I'm about to summon it!**

**LOL!**

**Next chapter takes place the morning after. I will update chapters more rapidly than I usually do, because I already have pretty much the whole thing typed out on my iPod and I just have to edit it and put it into chapters.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEE~!**


	2. Pancakes, Petting, and Purring

**Here is chapter 2, fast and daily like I said! This one, I ABSOLUTELY _PROMISE_ I will finish! AN's will be much shorter now.**

**This chapter will also be short. It is the morning after and they are eating and thinking of going somewhere.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia World Series, Google, Bakura's hair, or Marik's [EFF!] sound EFFect. _I do, however, own Marik's random Hetalia fan-ness, and his pancake-making skills.

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

The next morning, Marik and Bakura were eating breakfast together. Marik had made pancakes for the both of them. Marik had maple syrup on his, Bakura had blood on his. Bakura was sitting with his back to the sink.

As he ate, Marik stared at Bakura's hair. Marik always liked how fluffy it looked and felt, and Bakura knew it. But now he was staring at those two gravity-defying stubs of hair: the bunny ears, or whatever they were called.

Marik kinda wanted to test out his theory. As he continued eating, he formulated a plan that would allow him to do so and raise the least suspicion possible.

He finished his pancakes before Bakura did, and got up to put his dirty dishes in the sink. He quickly washed them, then sneaked behind Bakura and put an arm around his shoulder.

"Ah! Marik!" Bakura tensed for a moment in surprise.

"Hi. So... What do you want to do today?"

Bakura relaxed a bit and said, "Well, I was thinking about stealing something from one of Yugi Muto's friends or his grandfather. Mostly children's trading cards. And then we can go murder someone and leave one of Yugi's cards behind so the police will bla- Marik, why the bloody hell are you petting me?"

Marik had started petting Bakura with the hand that had been draped over his shoulder, and kept doing so with a smile. "Because you're my adorable kitty cat and your hair is so [EFF!]ing soft and fluffy."

Bakura groaned in annoyance, but did nothing to make Marik stop. He began describing in detail certain parts of his plan, such as which cards he was going to steal and how they would set up the crime scene.

Meanwhile, Marik continued to stroke Bakura's hair gently. After a while, Bakura trailed off and began purring. When this happened, Marik froze confusedly. But he didn't have a problem with it and kept up the motion.

"Kitty cat," he murmured. "So adorable." Marik had to admit that Bakura's purring was kind of turning him on. His thoughts turned to Hetalia again, and the fact that he shipped England X Egypt.

Thinking of Hetalia reminded him of his plan. Slowly, he inched his hand to the front of Bakura's head. Finally, he stopped when his hand was right between the bat wing bunny ear things.

Bakura continued to purr, much like a cat, and was enjoying what Marik was doing.

All of a sudden, he felt his Millenium Ring acting up. He stopped purring and looked down at it. To his surprise, it was pointing at him! No... Wait... It was actually pointing at Marik! And the Millenium Rod was still in Marik's room. So the only reason the Ring was pointing at Marik was...

His attention snapped to the position of his friend's hand on his hand. And it was right between his-

"Marik get the hell off of me!" He shoved Marik's arm away from him, shot out of his chair, and backed away from him.

Marik held his hand out to Bakura, a sad look on his face. "Kura... What's wrong?"

Bakura turned away so that his roommate couldn't see him blush. 'Change the subject! Change the subject!' he frantically thought. "Uh... Marik?"

"Y-yeah?"

Bakura smirked and turned around, his face no longer red. "Stop being gay, will you?"

"WHAT!" Now it was his turn to have a red face. He would never admit it! "I was not being gay in any sort of way! I, Marik Sebastian Ishtar the Third, am 100% straight! And waaaaiiit a minute..." he gave Bakura an accusatory stare. "What did I do to make you think that?"

"Millenium gaydar."

"[EFF!] you and your [EFF!]ing gaydar that lies!"

Bakura's smirk grew. "I'm sure that you definitely want to."

Marik's blush grew. "I absolutely do n-" he facepalmed. "Look let's just get out of here and do your stupid card-stealing plan!"

Marik's change of subject worked. "My evil plans are never stupid!" he shouted defensively. "That midget and his lame-ass yami pretty much live on card games. If we steal their best and most prized cards, they will be powerless against us! And even better if we frame him for a murder! Also I'm running out of blood syrup. I think I used the last of it on my pancakes."

"Whatever, Fluffy."

The nickname reminded Bakura of what Marik had just done and almost did. "And I'm not forgetting about this. I told you not to touch!"

Marik frowned and left the kitchen. He went back to his room to get the Millenium Rod. "Fine!" he called from his room.

* * *

Marik sat on the couch, waiting for Bakura to finish up in his room. "Bakura," he called. "You done yet?!"

"Just a moment, Marik! I'm- uh... Looking for another card!"

"Hurry the frig up!"

"Calm your buggering nerves!"

"Hurry up!"

"Stop bloody rushing me!"

Bakura emerged from the hallway wearing his black trench coat, which he claimed made him feel twice as evil when he wore it.

"Let's go."

The two villains walked out the front door and set off to find someone to steal cards from and someone to murder.

* * *

**HEHEHEHEHE...**

**LOL!**

**Next chapter takes place out on the street, where Bakura and Marik will steal some cards and play a children's card game, them nurder someone in the process! **

**BTW in this fic they are roommates and share an apartment, but that's probably obvious by now. I will update chapters more rapidly than I usually do, because I already have pretty much the whole thing typed out on my iPod and I just have to edit it and put it into chapters.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEE~!**


	3. Card Games and Wet Hair

**Here is chapter 3, fast and daily like I said! I TOLD YOU I would update fast! Tee hee hee.**

**Bakura was being a bad boy in this chapter so I punished him with my powers of being the author. You'll see. Tee hee hee!**

**The two of them are out on the street and Bakura is going to play a card game! Yay! ^3^**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia World Series, Google, Bakura's hair, or Marik's [EFF!] sound EFFect._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

By the time they were done, they had stolen about ten cards from people: Yugi's Dark Magician, Kuriboh, Swords of Revealing Light, Alpha the Magnet Warrior, and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian; Joey's Red Eyes Black Dragon, Time Wizard, and Scapegoats; Grandpa's Black Luster Soldier; and Kaiba's XYZ monster thing.

Now Bakura was going to find someone to murder. And he knew exactly how to do it. With a Shadow Game!"

* * *

"Hello there, you random person who has a duel disk." Bakura had approached a guy who looked to be in his mid 20's. He had a duel disk. That was enough for him. "I challenge you to a duel!"

The guy said, "Okay, sure. But I pick the place!"

"I don't care. Just so long as it's big enough."

The random person led Bakura to a very wide and very empty alleyway. Perfect for murdering someone in a Shadow Game. They wasted no time. They were both confident in their victory. However, only one of them actually knew who was going to win. And that was Bakura.

"Its time to duel!" they shouted in unison. They each drew five cards. Their life points started at 4000.

"I go first!" the other person shouted. "I play this thing that I forgot the name of in defence mode. Then I throw down a face down. My turn is over." He summoned a monster that Bakura had never seen before and was weak, then placed a card face down. "Go."

"My friend, you are in the wrong series. Anyway, I also place one card face down." Bakura did so. "And my turn ends! Now that both of us have gone, it's time to make things more interesting." The Millenium Ring glowed.

"Wha- what are you doing?"

"Taking this to the Shadow Realm."

"Oh my gosh the Shadow Realm!? What's that?"

"Your final resting place, that's what."

The alley faded into the Shadow Realm and it became really dark. The random duelist looked around in fear. What now?

"And this is the nature of our game..." Bakura watched as a knife materialized behind his opponent and knew that the same was happening behind him. "See these knives behind us?"

The man looked behind him and saw the weapon there. "Wha- Why?"

"As we lose life points, they inch closer and closer to our bodies. By the time the number reaches 200, they will be touching us."

"So as we lose life points, the knife gets closer to..."

"Stabbing you in the back and killing you? Yes. That is exactly how this is going to work. Ready to lose your life and your _soul_?"

"No."

"Too bad."

"Well if the stakes are that high then I quit..." he moved his hand to reach for his deck to forfeit, but that would ruin all the fun...

"NO!" Bakura shouted.

He stopped. "Why not?"

"Because that's no fun... Please?" Bakura gave his adorable kitty face that he learned from Ryou and only worked on people who had never seen either of them before.

So it worked now. "Fine," the man said with a sigh. "Let's keep going."

_Yes!_ "And by the way..." Bakura snapped his fingers.

Chains and shackles appeared on both of them, binding their feet to the floor and holding their shoulders in place. "Now, we can't run away or change position, but we can still play the game. Any more questions?"

The man gulped. "No."

"Then let the game go on!"

* * *

"And now my monster, attack him directly!"

Bakura's monster attacked the other guy directly. His life points went from 100 to 0. The knife entered his body completely and he began dying. Bakura's life points were still at 3400. Bakura was freed and walked up to him. "Thank you for the fun, but that was too easy. Time to frame your death on someone else!"

The Shadow Realm and monsters faded away and the man fell to the floor, the knife still in his back. He was dead.

"Marik, he's dead," Bakura announced.

"I know that," Marik replied. "I'm standing right here."

Bakura turned to him. "You sure you were fine with watching that? It wasn't too gruesome for you?"

"'Course not. I've watched Steves explode while I was testing out the fake Ra cards. It was actually kinda cool to watch. The exploding, I mean. And I've gotten used to watching you murder people."

"Good. Because he isn't going to be my last victim." He put a finger on his chin and said thoughtfully, "I should use this kind of Shadow Game more often. And with more sharp things."

"You know," Marik said while shaking his head. "You sometimes remind me of Melvin."

"Marik, your imaginary friend isn't the only one that likes 'hugging' people. Or murdering them in general. In fact, that is pretty much the only thing we have in common."

"Tee hee hee." Marik mumbled something that sounded like it ended with the word 'shipping'.

"What was that?" Bakura asked in a warning tone.

Marik giggled and blurted out, "PSYCHOSHIPPING!"

Bakura's eyes widened at what he thought was one of the most ridiculous Yu-Gi-Oh! shippings ever. Psychoshipping was in his "10 Most Hated Shippings Ever" list. Of course, Darkshipping was right at the top. "_WHY_ the bloody buggering f*ck would I ever be in love with that crazy psychopathic wanker?!" Bakura angrily grabbed Marik by the hood of his hoodie and pulled it far over his head and his eyes. "That one is on my list and you know it!"

"AH! FLUFFY I CAN'T [EFF!]ING SEE! Stop that!" He wildly waved his arms around trying to hit Bakura, hopefully in the face. Bakura took a giant step away from him and let him flail around like an idiot. He laughed at the sight. After a few moments, Marik actually thought to take off his hood by hand. "Haha very funny, Bakura." He reached up to Bakura's head and ruffled his hair.

Bakura cringed. "DON'T. TOUCH. MY. BLOODY. HAIR!"

Marik stopped and smiled at him. "Leave my hoodie alone."

The British evil Egyptian spirit of the Millenium Ring scowled at him and turned to place the cards. He took all of Yugi's cards and threw them around the dead body. "Why don't you ever use that hood anyway? It's right there. You always complain when you don't have an umbrella and your hair gets wet, but you have a hood. Use it."

"Excuuuse me, Princess. I don't go around telling you how to wear your clothes now do I?"

"You complained when I got blood on my clothes."

"Because you had it on your frigging socks! How does that even happen? You were walking everywhere and getting blood all over the floor! Not everyone likes the sight of blood like you do."

"Oh my bloody gosh! This it the fifth time this month that you bothered me about tha! Shut up already and call an Cop named Steve to come here."

"Fine! But the next time I see blood on the clothes that you're wearing and it gets on the floor or furniture, I'm slipping one of my tops into the washing machine again!"

"You'd better not!"

"...IGNORE ME!"

"I wish I could.

"Whatever!" Marik took out his Millenium Rod and held it up. He concentrated on the two Steves that were part of the police force, Officer Steve Johnson and Officer Stevenson Lucas. Luckily, they were both available. He made contact with Officer Steve.

"Yo, Steve. Pick up the phone and pretend to take a call. Bring Stevenson with you."

Bakura took out his cellphone and dialed the police. He put the phone on speaker so Marik could hear what he said directly.

{Ring, ring}  
{"Hello? This is officer Steve. I am under Marik's control, so I will instantly believe whatever you say."}

"Shut up you fool and stop letting the people in the room know that I'm here! You know I'm actually wanted by the authorities."

{"Yes, Master Maaaaaa...lik."}

"Yeah that's right Mind Slave! You had better call me 'Malik'!"

Bakura kept talking. As he did, he walked to the alley entrance and leaned against the wall. Marik followed and leaned on the wall next to him, the Millenium Rod still glowing and working. "We just found a dead body. Aquailita can't make up a street name because she's a lazy-ass author who never finishes her fanfics unless they're one-shots. So I'll just tell you that the body is in the alleyway on the block that's four blocks north of Solomon Muto's game shop and four blocks south of that Pizza/Pasta Place that sells messy food and uses sauce that looks like blood. You should blame the person that owns the cards scattered around him."

**AN: Ooooohhhh! Bakura is _so_ getting punished for that! But I just had a good idea on how connect this scene to the plot, by _PUNISHING_ Bakura! Tee hee hee. Thanks Bakura, for making me do something to you! But he's also getting another one off... Erm. Screen? Page? I don't know. The point is that I will punish him twice. One you will see, one you won't. Ok back to the story!**

{"Yes, Mr. Florence. Me and Officer Stevenson will be there in about half an hour, so you should have enough time to leave before the next chapter."}

Bakura was about to punch the phone but he remembered that it was his cell phone, not Officer Steve's face. So he just gritted his teeth and said, "Thank you." and hung up. Marik released Steve from his mind control.

"Marik!" Marik was laughing a bit. "Why the bloody hell did he call me Florence?! You know I hate that name!"

"Tee hee. Tee hee. Tee hee. Sorry, Fluffy. Your name is just too adorable. I'm totally getting a fluffy white cat one day and naming him that! Hahahahaha! Hey!"

Bakura had just pulled Marik's hood over his eyes again. Then (for reasons only I know) he took off his trench coat and draped it over Marik's head so he it would be more annoying for him. "I told you to leave my [EFF!]ing hoodie alone!" Marik knew where Bakura stood this time, so he pushed him. Bakura stumbled to the edge of the sidewalk. He was about to walk over to Marik and shove him back. Marik took off his hood and the trench coat and saw a car approaching. He quickly ran back inside the alleyway.

This confused Bakura and he froze. "What are you doing?"

"Car! It rained yesterday!"

"Wha-" Bakura turned around and saw a car approaching. And there was a convenient puddle of water in the street next to him. _Oh bullocks, I pissed off the authoress._

The car splashed in the puddle and Bakura became totally soaked.

Bakura growled. _Aquailita is _so_ going to the Shadow Realm for this!_

**AI(author's insert): "No I'm _noooooot_~!"**

"Yes you are!"

**AI: "Shut up you evil sexy kitty cat!"**

"Bakura~! Good thing you threw your trench coat at me! And you totally had that coming."

Bakura stared at the ground. He rung his hair and shirt out, then held out an arm. "Give it to me..."

Marik handed Bakura the coat, which he quickly put on so that his hair was inside as well and buttoned up. "Not a kitty..." he murmured.

"Shut up and stop denying that you're a kitty."

"Only when you stop denying your sexuality."

"I'm not _denying_ anything! It's the truth."

Bakura held up the Millenium Ring activated the gaydar in it. The Ring pointed to both of them. "Gaaayydaaaarr~," he sang.

Marik held up the Millenium Rod and waved it in Bakura's face. "Millenium item, biatch! Don't even try that with me. You mention this pretty much every chapter! I'm not gay."

"Then I'm not a kitty. And this is only the third chapter."

"You _are_ a kitty!"

"You're gay."

"You're a limey kitty thief person!"

"You're a wanker."

"Shut your face, Bakura!"

"Kiss my ass, Marik!"

"...But there's poop down there!"

Bakura sighed and shivered. _Bloody authoress..._ He looked at the ground again. "Let's just go home..."

"Yes. Let's." Marik and Bakura walked around the corner to where Marik had parked his motorcycle of death, as Bakura would say.

Before he got on, Marik took another look at Bakura's hair, which was _still_ soaked. "You're running straight to the bathroom to change and dry off when we get back. Especially your hair." Marik reached up to feel how wet it was.

Bakura finally looked up and noticed the approaching hand. But before he could react, Marik _very_ LIGHTLY brushed a finger against one of the bat wings, which against all odds was still defying gravity. His eyes narrowed and he shuddered ever so slightly.

_Then_ he reacted. He grabbed Marik's hand and bit it just as hard as he had yesterday.

"[EFF!]ing frigging dammit!" Marik cried out in pain. He held his bleeding hand. "Bakura!"

"Don't touch."

"Why would you... I need to use this hand to drive! Now I have _two_ bitten hands. I hope you're not making a habit of this."

"I hope that you won't be making a habit of touching my hair."

"Title."

"...What?"

"Title."

Bakura looked at the title. "Oh... Well f*ck the buggering title! Let's go. Please."

"Sure whatever." Marik put on his helmet and mounted the motorcycle. Bakura got on behind him and wrapped his arms around Marik's torso and leaned on him.

***somewhere, several thiefshipping fangirls squeal***

Marik started the motorcycle and they drove back home.

* * *

**YAY MOTORCYCLES! HAHA! The only thing they're good for is... wait for it...  
Did someone say card games? HELL NO!  
I meant for fueling thiefshipping! DUH! Why else would I give Marik his motorcycle in this fic?**

**Next chapter happens back at their place. I think that it one will also be short. I forget at the moment.**

**I will update chapters more rapidly than I usually do, because I already have pretty much the whole thing typed out on my iPod and I just have to edit it and put it into chapters.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEE~!**


	4. Cleaning Up

**Here is chapter 4, fast and daily like I said (actually it should have been here like a week ago sorry!)! I TOLD YOU I would update fast! Tee hee hee.**

**The two of them are back home. Bakura is drying off and Marik is tending to his hand (Bakura keeps biting him in this story...(foreshadowing much? *wink*wink*)). Yay! ^3^**

**This isn't one of my best chapters, but it should be ok anyway. It's a short one.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia World Series, Google, Bakura's hair (I wish though...), Duel Monsters, or Marik's [EFF!] sound EFFect._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

As soon as they got back to their apartment, Bakura ran straight for the bathroom just like Marik had asked him.

Marik went into Bakura's room and got out a change of clothes for him. He knocked on the door. Bakura opened it, took the clothes, then began drying himself up and changing into them.

Marik stood outside the door and waited for him to leave so he could tend to his hand. He heard the soaked clothes being rung out into the bathtub, then he heard the blow dryer being used.

"Hurry up in there!" Marik shouted over the hairdryer.

Bakura turned it off for a moment to respond, "Calm your buggering ass! You take _waaaaaay_ longer than this in the mornings." He turned it back on and resumed drying his hair.

After two more minutes, he simply decided to wrap a towel around his hair and let it dry over time. When he had wrapped the towel, he opened the bathroom door and looked at Marik who was leaning against the wall next to it.

"About your hand..." Bakura started, smirking.

"Don't wanna hear it, Fluffy! You need to dull down those teeth."

Bakura grinned wide and ran his tongue across his upper row of teeth. "Nope. These things are a useful weapon."

"Hmph..." Marik entered the bathroom and slammed the door in his face.

Bakura laughed quietly at the closed-door, then went inside his room to make sure that Marik hadn't been snooping around or making a mess.

Marik looked at his fingers which were still bleeding. Yesterday, Bakura had bitten the side of his left hand. Now, he had bitten the fingers of his right hand. So instead of one large bandage, he just needed four normal sized ones.

He washed his fingers and found the band-aids, removing four of them from the box and wrapping them around his fingers.

He wiggled them, satisfied.

He exited the bathroom.

* * *

Marik walked into his room and saw Bakura sitting on his bed.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" he shouted, running over to him. "What are you doing in here?"

Bakura was just sitting there, casually leaning against the wall with a pillow under his head, his eyes closed. He opened them when he heard Marik shouting at him. "What?"

"This is _my_ room."

"I know. Don't you have to make sure that Yugi Muto gets arrested? Do those two Steves know what cards he has?"

Oh right. "Yeah... But why are you in my room?"

Bakura got up and moved over to Marik's computer chair. He sat on it backwards. "Do you even remember what cards I put there? I was the one who stole them, so you wouldn't know."

"It's kinda obvious which ones you took. Dark Magician, Dark Magician Girl..."

"No. You just connect to them and I'll let you know what cards."

Bakura activated his Millenium Ring and Marik activated his Millenium Rod at the same time. They opened up the link between their minds through their items.

"Hello? Bakura, you there? Over."

"Yes I am still here."

"..."  
"Can you say that again please? I didn't hear you. Over."

"Yes I am here, Marik."

"What? Bakura you have to say 'over' or else I can't hear you. Over."

"Why do I have to say 'over'?"

"Why do you have to say what, Bakura? Over."

Bakura sprang out of the chair, knocking it over, and shouted at Marik verbally instead of mentally. "Bloody hell, Marik! Stop with the crappily annoying Family Guy reference!"

**Marik's face:** ( •_• )  
Marik shrank back a bit. "Uh... Okay..."

He fixed the chair and sat back down. "Thank you. Now make the connection."

"Right."

Marik used the Millenium Rod to mentally contact the Officer Steves. As Officer Steve had promised, they had arrived at the crime scene after this chapter had started.

**(AN: Stay tuned for the next chapter, which includes this encounter.)**

With Bakura helping him, he told one of them what cards were there. All of Marik's Rare Hunters and some of his Mind Slaves already knew what cards Yugi Muto owned, so all they had to do was realize that the cards on the ground were Yugi's.

But Officer Steve had already identified them. At the moment, Yugi had just conveniently show up asking for the cops to track down the thief that had stolen his cards.

"Didn't think he would notice so soon," Bakura said.

"Shut up. You're ruining my concentration."

With Yugi there, Marik made the Steves arrest him. When the game-loving midget was handcuffed, Marik released control and let things take their course.

Bakura and Marik broke their mental contact.

Bakura got up and moved back to the bed. "So I was completely ineffectual," he said.

"You can leave now," Marik said impatiently.

"I would have thought that you'd be more excited about how my evil plan worked. And it even involved playing a children's card game. As an added bonus, I got to murder someone. Show me some praise."

"Hmph. Good job, Fluffy. These are the kind of evil schemes that I want you to bring up at the Evil Council Meetings, and not just do on your own."

"Just be glad that I didn't kill one of the other members. Or you."

"Am I really that annoying?"

Bakura paused for a moment and looked directly at Marik.

Marik stared back.

"Do I really need to answer for you?"

"Yes."

"Yes you are."

Marik sighed and shook his head.

"I hate you, Bakura."

Bakura smiled. "I hate you too."

* * *

**YAY! **  
**Sorry again about being an idiot who can't hide her iPod!**

**Next chapter happens at the crime scene. That one will also be short.**

**One of my reviewers suggested a punishment for Bakura. I will put her idea into place in a few chapters, because the flow of the story might be interrupted by Bakura's anxiety and Marik's reaction over what I do to him. So it will happen before chapter 7ish. **

**I will update chapters more rapidly than I usually do, because I already have pretty much the whole thing typed out on my iPod and I just have to edit it and put it into chapters.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEE~!**


	5. The King of Games In Handcuffs

**WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH I'M SORRY!  
My father went snooping under my bed on Tuesday while I was at school and found the iPod I'm not supposed to have on the weekdays! -_-* So I can't update this chapter with what I want to put here. But I remember that it was short and just them going back home and Bakura drying up and Marik tending to his hand. (Bakura keeps biting him a lot in this fanfic! *wink**wink* *foreshadowing* ;P) However, I will just post the chapter after it so that you guys don't have nothing. I will post what was SUPPOSED to be here later, and then move it after a day so I can get back on track.**

_Chapter is not here due to a stolen iPod.  
I will remove this and replace it with the actual chapter when I get it back, which will either be today if I can steal it back, or Friday/Saturday when I get it back.  
Sorry for not hiding it better!_

* * *

**Here is chapter 5, fast and daily like I said! I TOLD YOU I would update fast! Tee hee hee.  
[I edited it a bit, because it had a few errors in the story and wrong statements in the AN's. All better now! So instead of a chapter addition, here's a minor chapter edit!]**

**The Steves that Marik told to go look at the person Bakura murdered in a Shadow Game are there, and Yugi [in]conveniently shows up. And then a panda almost makes me mad but it's okay because he's cute.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia World Series, Google, Bakura's hair (I wish though...), Duel Monsters, or Marik's [EFF!] sound EFFect._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

"It's such a shame, Steve," said Officer Stevenson to Officer Steve. "He died so young in the card game fandom. And he lost in the worst way possible..."

"Yeah, Stevenson. He was stabbed in the chest while playing a card game. This really is a low point for trading card popularity."

The police knew how the man had died because there was a very obvious knife in his back and he was still holding his cards in his cold, dead hands.

"But look at these cards scattered around him," Steve noted. "These don't seem to be his. All of his cards are either in the graveyard or his deck or hand."

Stevenson bent down and examined the five cards that had fallen to the ground. Then were the Dark Magician, Kuriboh, Swords of Revealing Light, Alpha the Magnet Warrior, and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian. "Who owns these cards?" he asked Steve.

"Well I'm pretty sure that Yugi Muto, the King of Games, has all of those cards on his deck. Marik told us so. Maybe we should bring the guy in..."

"Excuse me you police officer people who have no place in this city because card games are the only law! Can you help me?!"

The two police officers turned around and saw none other than Yugi Muto himself running towards them.

"Hello. Could you two help me? Someone appears to have stolen my Dark Magician, Kuriboh, Swords of Revealing Light, Alpha the Magnet Warrior, and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian from me. Can you help me find the thief?"

Yugi had finished eating some saucy and messy food a few minutes ago, so he had red sauce around his mouth that looked like blood. The two "Steves" exchanged glances, noticed a glowing eye appearing on the other's forehead, then wasted no time in acting.

Steve took out a pair or handcuffs and grabbed Yugi by the wrists, which he then handcuffed together.

"Yugi Muto, you're under arrest for the murder of this random guy by stabbing him after playing a card game," he announced.

"What?! How did you come to that conclusion?!"

Stevenson continued. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used as evidence against you in the card game court, where we will determine if you are allowed to play games anymore. You are allowed to have a lawyer, as long as he has a Law and Order-themed Duel Monsters deck."

Yugi struggled against the handcuffs and the cop that was leading him to the police car. Officer Stevenson was staying behind at the crime scene to get more evidence and help CSID, Crime Scene Investigation Domino, with stuff. "Let me go! Why the hell are you arresting the King of Games?"

"Because you murdered someone while playing a card game, that's why," Steve replied.

"Man, this show really _is_ too much about card games."

"Shut up and get in the cop car!" shouted Stevenson.

"No!" Yugi struggled against Officer Steve, then kicked backwards and kicked him right in the crotch.

"Holy sh*t!"

Yugi bent down and stepped over the handcuffs so that his hands were now in front. Then he stood up and turned around, now having let Yami take over. Steve was on the ground, holding his crotch in pain. Stevenson was still looking at the body, and hadn't noticed what had happened.

"No body messes with the King of Games, bitch. And no one tries to arrest my aibou!" Yami held up both his hands and aimed each one at an Officer Stevewhatever.

"You know how I love to deal with people like you?" Now, Stevenson had looked up. A glowing eye appeared on Yami's forehead and he smiled. "_MIND CRUSH_!" he shouted.

Officer Steve and Officer Stevenson's faces went blank for a few seconds and they froze. Then they blacked out and fell to the ground.

Yami smiled his "Season 0" smile. "Works every time," he said. Then he spoke to Yugi. "See Yugi, this is why Mind Crushing people is a good thing!"

"Don't get carried away."

"Maybe."

"Just shut up and set us free."

"Right." Yami walked over to Steve and searched him for the key. He found it and unlocked the handcuffs.

When this was done, Yugi took over again. He went over to the dead person and picked up his five cards.

"Glad that's over. But who really did kill this person?"

Yami appeared next to Yugi in spirit form and looked at the dead body with him. "Well let's think about this. The only villains in this show that would murder someone are Marik, Bakura, Melvin, Dartz, Zorc, and Thief King Bakura. The weapon is a knife, not the Millenium Rod, so it's not Melvin. It's not Season 5 and the next Evil Council of Doom video hasn't come out yet, so it's not Thief Bakura or Zorc. The guy has a weapon in his back, so it's not Dartz. I'd say it was Bakura."

"Wow," Yugi said, impressed with Yami's being able to think outside the deck for once. "Pretty impressive analysis. I wouldn't have been able to think of something like that!"

"Because I am the King of Games!" Yami said pro. "Besides, the real reason I thought it was Bakura is because the main characters in this fanfic are him and Marik, so obviously this murder and this arrest scene are just filler for the real plot. They were probably making out sometime before or after the murder. Common sense, Yugi."

"... I think you were better off with your first theory. Made you seem smarter and not so into fanfiction. What will people think of us when they find out that you read that crap and know how it works? You'll be just like all of the other idiot fangirls that get most of their fan-ness from made up stories about us!"

"Yugi... You're adorable, but ignorant." Yami pointed right at the screen, straight at all the readers. "Aquailita is _so_ going to do something to you now. And we'll probably get some angry reviews from fanfic-loving fangirls."

Yugi looked too. "Oops. Don't hurt the panda!"

**(Because Yugi is an adorable baby panda, the author of this fanfic has decided not to do anything to him. For now.)**

"See? I'm too cute to be punished by my fangirls."

"Let's just go home now."

"Right."

* * *

**YAY CHAPTER!**

**I'm not actually one of Yugi's fangirls. I admit that he is cute (adorable cute, not smexy cute), but I'm not a fangirl. Just like how I admit that Marik is sexy, but I'm not a fangirl of him.**

**Next chapter goes back to Marik and Bakura. It is the same day, just a little while later.**

**I will update chapters more rapidly than I usually do, because I already have pretty much the whole thing typed out on my iPod and I just have to edit it and put it into chapters.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEE~!**


	6. The Thief Who Deleted The History

**Here is chapter 6, fast and daily like I said! I TOLD YOU I would update fast! Tee hee hee.**

**hehehe... This broke the 5555 thing we had here... (5 chapters, 5 reviews, 5 favorites, 5 follows). Let's fix that and get one more of each to match this 6th chapter!**

**Continuing a little while later from where chapter 4 left off. The same day, but a while later.**

**THIS IS WHERE THE FUN STARTS! tee hee hee! **

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia World Series, Google, Bakura's hair (I wish though...), Duel Monsters, or Marik's [EFF!] sound EFFect._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Marik was on his computer, watching Hetalia again. Bakura was on his bed, examining several sets of cards: his own, Ryou's, Marik's, and the rest of the stolen cards. He put little colored sticky tabs on them so he wouldn't mix up the sets.

Marik wanted to go back to episode 25 again. He went into his internet history, but couldn't find it. "Huh," he said.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing."

He checked his YouTube history, but again, couldn't find it. Then he checked his Likes because he had liked the video. Once again, it was missing.

"Well that's odd..."

"What's odd?"

"Shut up and keep playing with your cards."

Bakura grunted in response.

"Yeah yeah yeah, shut up and keep playing."

Marik wondered if the same had happened to that website he had found. It had. He couldn't find the character profile page in his history. But why?

He turned around and looked at Bakura suspiciously. He was sorting the cards by strategy and counter-strategy.

"Bakura..." Marik said in an accusatory tone.

Bakura glanced up at Marik and quickly said, "Whatever just happened, I didn't do it."

"Yes you did! You deleted the episode and character profile from my history!"

Bakura didn't look up, but Marik could see a guilty blush spreading across his face. "Not my fault..."

"Yes it was! Wait a minute..." Marik flashed back to that morning. While Bakura was getting ready, he had heard a door opening and closing four times. Why would one door be opened and closed four times? Unless _two_doors had been opened and closed! Marik stood up and pointed at Bakura Phoenix Wright style (but I'd rather say Professor Layton style). "It was _YOU_! But why?"

Bakura's blush grew. "I didn't..." he said unconvincingly.

"You liar!" Marik turned back to the computer and pulled up his YouTube history. "I always watch episodes in order. Yesterday I watched episodes 24 and 25. And today I watched 26 and 27. 25 is missing! You must have deleted the episode this mor-" He turned around one way and noticed that the bed was empty. Even the cards had been cleaned up. "Hey!" he shouted as he turned the other way.

Bakura had gathered all the cards into one deck and put a rubber band around it. He was trying to escape from Marik's room. He froze when he realized he had been caught.

Marik ran to the open door and put a hand on the doorway, blocking his escape.

"Bakura!"

"Uh... Yes, Marik?"

"Why?"

"Uh..." Bakura looked _really_ nervous as he tried to think of a valid excuse. "Because I like messing with you?"

Marik didn't believe it at all. "Bullcrap! Why would you delete those specific pages, and then try to hide it?"

There was really no way to get out of this. Physically, it was usually stealth against strength. Marik was much stronger than him, but he couldn't sneak away in this situation. So he had to come up with an excuse other than the truth that Marik would hopefully be dumb enough to believe. "Fine. Because I don't like SpaMano."

"Uh... Wait a minute... That isn't believable either. _Everyone_ likes Spamano. And it's as canon as GerIta!"

"I don't like the number 25."

"Stop making up irrelevant excuses!"

"Alright then!" he shouted. "Fine! The real reason is because I don't want you talking about Romano or Italy's hair! There! You happy now?"

A long pause followed. They stared at each other; Bakura's face angry, Marik's face shocked.

Marik shook of the shock and said, "Well then. I knew that you didn't hate Spamano. Who doesn't ship it?"

"Me."

"What?! Why not?! What _do_ you ship from Hetalia then?"

Without thinking, Bakura replied, "PruCan and EngGypt."

Now _that_ was a huge surprise. EngGypt was England X Egypt. "Bakura you...ship England and Egypt?"

Bakura suddenly realized what he just said. "Wha- oh bullocks did I say that out loud?"

"Yes, you did. You know what? I ship them too."

"Well... Um... That's nice. Would you mind telling me why?"

"Kinda." Marik suddenly had an idea for something he couldn't- and didn't want to- hold back anymore. He didn't think, he just acted. "You know what I ship from Yu-Gi-Oh!?"

"I swear Marik if you say Peach or Dark I'm going to-"

"Remember our Vegas trip tattoos?"

"W- yes... But wh-?"

"I ship that."

"Ma-"

Marik swung him against the wall. Bakura was caught completely off guard and dropped the cards.

* * *

**LET THE AWESOMENESS BEGIN! **

**Like the ending? Of course you do!**

**I'd advice you to get some tissues in preparation for the next chapter.**

**Note: I've looked it up and apparently EngGypt isn't an official fan-made pairing or pairing name anywhere, so I'll just say that I made it up and its an original idea! ^3^ so ya... MARIK SHIPS THAT! To me, EngGypt is the Hetalia equivalent of thiefshipping (abridged only), or maybe the other way around. Whatever I don't care!**

**One of my reviewers suggested a punishment for Bakura. I will put her idea into place in a few chapters, because the flow of the story might be interrupted by Bakura's anxiety and Marik's reaction over what I do to him. So it will happen before chapter 7ish. **

**I will update chapters more rapidly than I usually do, because I already have pretty much the whole thing typed out on my iPod and I just have to edit it and put it into chapters.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEE~!**


	7. What Happens When Hair Is Pulled

**Here is chapter 7, fast and daily like I said! I TOLD YOU I would update fast! Tee hee hee.**

**I purposely held back this chapter to put some of you in suspense. I'm so cruel! tee hee hee!**

**This chapter is rated T+ because I'm paranoid, but not M because nothing really _happens_..._yet_.**

**hehehe... This broke the 5555 thing we had here... (5 chapters, 5 reviews, 5 favorites, 5 follows). Let's fix that and get two more of each to match this 7th chapter! Also, I changed the title because not many people know about Hetalia, and it is a fact that the plot isnt centered around the show and Marik's fandom of it; it's centered around what Marik thinks of Bakura's hair "functions" (tee hee hee) and what they do about it! Also I'm changing the summary a bit.**

**This chapter is short.**

**OMG THIS IS A DIRECT CONTINUATION OF WHERE THE LAST CHAPTER LEFT OFF AND OMG IT IS SO SEXY! ITS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER AND I SQUEED SO MUCH WHILE WRITING AND READING IT! And I'm the author! I had _WAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY_ too much fun writing this... This is like my best chapter written for anything ever. Hope you like!**

* * *

**_~!~_**

_**Fangirls who have not already accepted fangasm/blood loss/concussion(from fainting and hitting a hard object) as a method of death are advised to leave now. (Unless you can handle M chapters therefore you can obviously handle T chapters, seeing as it's a step down).**_

_**~!~**_

* * *

**THIS IS WHERE THE FUN CONTINUTES! tee hee hee! **

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia World Series, Google, Bakura's hair (I wish though...), Duel Monsters, or Marik's [EFF!] sound EFFect._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Marik leaned close to his ear and whispered, "Remember when I said that I loved you, but I wasn't _in_ love with you?"

"Y-yeah," came the hushed reply.

"Well I lied about that second part."

Marik moved away from Bakura's ear and stared into his eyes for a moment. Then he put his left hand on Bakura's waist, his right hand behind Bakura's head, and drew him into a loving an passionate kiss.

Again taken totally by surprise, Bakura froze for a few moments and stared at Marik with wide eyes, but quickly adapted to the situation, closed his eyes, and began kissing back.

Marik pushed his tongue against Bakura's lips demanding entrance, which he quickly was granted. The two tongues danced in a battle for dominance. Bakura moaned softly and inaudibly.

Marik slid his left hand behind Bakura more and pulled their bodies closer together. The motion reminded Bakura where his hands were and he wrapped his arms around the Egyptian. One of his hands began feeling the part of Marik's back that his shirt exposed.

Then Marik's right hand slowly began snaking higher on the white-haired thief's head and began petting him, just like he had that morning. He heard those cat-like and erotic purring sounds that he had heard before. He kissed more passionately.

Finally, his hand reached those bat wings that he had been so interested in. He tugged on one of them.

A tremor of pleasure ran throuhg him, starting at the spot where Marik tugged. Bakura moaned again, this time much louder. "Oh my ****ing Ra," he breathed into Marik's mouth. He bit Marik's tongue.

Marik decided to pull away at that moment. Both of them opened their eyes. Marik looked at Bakura, who was breathing hard and whose face was slightly pink and had pure lust written all over it.

Marik still held that fistful of white hair. "Bakura," he breathed. "I knew it."

"Knew...what?" Bakura panted.

Marik smiled, leaned in close to his ear again and whispered, "Your hair is just like the Italy Brothers' hair."

"I...know...that...Marik," Bakura said between breaths.

"Then why did you try to keep it a secret?" He released Bakura's hair.

"Because...I was afraid that...you might do something...and I might do...this!" He pushed himself off the wall and shoved Marik towards the bed. Marik had to find his footing and make sure he fell _on_ the bed and not on the floor next to it, because they weren't actually that close to it.

When Marik was sitting on the bed, Bakura resumed their kiss and slowly angled him down until they were both laying down, Bakura lying on top of Marik.

After a few seconds, Bakura moved his mouth from Marik's lips to his neck. He began nibbling on it gently, causing Marik to moan in pleasure. He tangled his fingers through that white hair again and massaged his scalp, making him to purr again. Then he grabbed both bat wing-shaped clumps of hair. Bakura moaned again, much louder than before, and started biting harder. So hard that Marik began bleeding. He licked the blood hungrily, enjoying the taste both because it was blood and because it was Marik's.

"Aaahh..." Marik cried out in pain and ecstasy.

Bakura continued lapping up Marik's blood. At one point, he started biting the inside of his cheek and began bleeding there. When he tasted his own blood, he removed his mouth from the Egyptian's neck and started kissing him again. Marik could taste the sweet combination of Bakura's blood and his own. How much he liked the taste shocked him. He licked the broken inside of Bakura's cheek, tasting more.

Marik suddenly let go of Bakura's hair and tugged at his shirt. Bakura got the message and helped in pulling it up and freeing his arms from it. Then he helped Marik do the same. He moved his own shirt from around his neck to around Marik's neck so they would only have to break the kiss once while removing them.

They did this now, and broke away just long enough for Marik to remove both tops from around his neck and toss them aside.

Both of them now shirtless, they began feeling the other's bare back and chest. Bakura put a hand behind Marik's neck and angled him upright again. He gently traced the groves in the former tombkeeper's back with his finger. Marik shivered at the touch.

They decided to end their kiss and stare at each other for a while. Both of them were breathing hard, Bakura breathing harder, and their faces flushed. Marik thought that Bakura looked so cute when he blushed; the red stood out so much and so nicely against his pale skin. Right now, Marik thought that Bakura looked cuter than both Ryou and Yugi combined could ever be, and that was saying something. But cats were always cuter than pandas.

And Bakura thought that Marik looked _very_ sexy right then, especially with that skin tone and without a shirt on. He felt like a vampire, having tasted Marik's blood and mouth, both for the first time ever, and liking it very much. Marik was still bleeding now.

Marik smiled and shivered again as Bakura traced another groove on his back. "Going a bit rough, aren't you?"

Bakura smiled back. "You're the one who started playing with my hair."

"And you were _afraid_ of this? Why? I don't mind. I never would have minded."

Bakura's smile slowly changed to a smirk. "So this goes without saying that this whole time you were, in fact, g-"

"Don't push your luck, Kitty."

"Not a kit-"

"Oh no?" Marik began petting Bakura again. And Bakura started purring again, _very_ much like a KITTY. With him distracted by the petting, Marik was able to roll Bakura off of him until _he_ was leaning over him.

He gently kissed Bakura's cheek, then left a trail of kisses from his cheek to his neck. When he reached his neck, he stuck his tongue out and licked and sucked on Bakura's skin.

Marik kept petting, Bakura kept purring.

He trailed his tongue from Bakura's neck, to his cheek again, drew a circle, then moved to his lips. His tongue slipped inside and they began kissing once more.

Bakura wrapped his arms around the Egyptian's body, Marik put his free hand on the ancient spirit's chest.

Bakura's hands inched lower and lower on Marik's back until finally, he slipped his fingertips under his waistband.

Marik shot up and stopped petting his kitty- I mean Bakura- in surprise. He looked back at where Bakura's hands were, then looked back at the former thief king.

"B-bakura...you..."

"Marik, I shall put this out there very plainly. I am ready to go all the way with you. I have been for some time now. Before we even got this apartment." _But that was a year ago! So Bakura really _has_ loved me all this time..._ "The question is... Are you?"

Marik thought about that for a minute. He wanted to as well, but was he ready for it? Did he really want to go through with this? He focused on Bakura's hand; his fingertips still wedged under his waistband and his palm now relaxing on his back.

It all depended on two things: _*all of the readers who want to see a thiefshipping M chapter sit on the edge of their seats* _One: If he was 100% sure, and wouldn't have any regrets afterwards (except for the still-bleeding hickey Bakura gave him, which kinda was starting to hurt again), and Two: Whether Aquailita is willing to write said M thiefshipping chapter that those on the edge of their seats want so badly. And if she can actually do it.

* * *

Will Aquailita make all of those fans cry by not writing this amazing scene?!

Yes she will!

Because the chapter ends here!

* * *

**I came back and edited this chapter because I realize it's necessary.**

**I have gotten many reviews about the next chapter and how many people were pissed off at me. THAT'S THE POINT TEE HEE HEE! But I realized that it was more mean and cruel than deceptive and joking. Well I'm sorry. I'm evil. But not TOO evil because here is your warning:**

**I don't do M's. **

**So what you want from me in the next chapter isn't there. I pretended to be in the Shadow Realm while it was happening. You'll see what I mean. Sorry. DON'T HATE ME!**

**But there is still sexy thiefshippingness in the next chapter and the one after it! So don't stop here!**

**SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	8. The Long Awaited Moment! Or Not?

**I'M SORRY I WAS GONE FOR SO LONGGGGGGGGGGGG~!**

**I really am! And I even already had the chapters after this done already... Just... I didn't so this one yet... hehe.. hehe...**

**This chapter is an apology, an excuse, late, expected, and lame. All at the same time! Am I not making sense? For this chapter, get used to it!**

**I'm sorry~!**

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

**This chapter randomly jumps into the middle of absolutely nothing...or aboslutely EVERYTHING! But actually, this is me randomly jumping into the middle of what already is happening. Did that make sense? No? Well too bad! I'm not even the focus here! They are! *points to Marik and Bakura, then mysteriously disappears***

* * *

"Well, Marik? Usually I don't care about what others think but a lot of people want this to happen. We've got your fangirls and mine, the thiefshipping fans, the yaoi fans, Aquailita, Rueky Ishtar (**AN btw thanks Rueky for your review that was EXACTLY the reaction I was looking for tee hee hee**!), Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged fangirls, and a bunch of others. Come on. You know that we both want this."

"Bakura."

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

"Why?"

"Because I don't _need_ you trying to convince me," Marik anwered with a smile and a wink." My answer was yes from the start."

Bakura smiled wide. "Well then, why don't we get right into it." He started to pull Marik close to him again...

...

"But first." Bakura pushed Marik off of him. "Stay here, I'll be right back." He ran to his room, picked something up, then ran back. All in about eight seconds. He ran back in, sat on the bed next to Marik who hadn't moved, and put something on Marik's head and around his waist.

Marik touched both objects and realized instantly what they were. "Why are you... You kept these after the Shadowwolf thing? Meow."

"Yup. This should be fun. Neko-Neko-Marik."

"Tee hee hee. You know, saying 'Neko-Neko-Bakura' would be double redundancy because 'cat' is a synonym of 'Bakura'. Meow."

"Shut up and have sex with me Neko-Neko-Marik!"

Bakura grabbed Neko-Neko-Marik by the waist and pulled the Neko! Egyptian on top of him.

They started kissing and making out again.

Marik tried his best to act like a kitty cat and started licking every single inch of Bakura's exposed skin, especially his face.

Then

* * *

**Me talking to you in a dark and _SHADOWY_ place:**

Okay so here is what happened...

I was about to write this _AMAZING_ scene... But Bakura sent me to the Shadow Realm temporarily because he doesn't want any of his fangirls to be watching. So I will stay here and not know what's going on untill they're done and Bakura lets me out. But I will give you the rest of the chapters _AFTER_ it and you can just fill in the blanks and use your imagination.

Or... If you don't believe that...

**Then the truth is I don't do M's.**

There are three main kinds of M's (in general): the ones rated because of extremely vulgar language, the ones rated for extreme violence and tragedy, and the ones rated for sex/adult content. I rarely read, and never write, that last type. Sorry. It's just they way I am.

I shouldn't have to apologize for my own preferences, but I know I left a lot of you hanging and anxious (hehehe... That was the idea...) for that scene. But I'm not going to write it. Sorry.

BUT! There will be plenty of thiefshippy sexiness in the next chapter(s)!

So don't worry~!

* * *

**Also, to Dynamite and Soup... I'm taking your idea into consideration. Since I'm in the Shadow Realm, Bakura doesn't know I'm saying this... And Marik's going to be in on it! Tee hee. Tee hee. Tee hee!**

**So anyway... Sorry guys! No yaoi to be found here!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEE~!**


	9. Fluffy's Well-Deserved Punishment

**I'm really sorry. But NO MORE BLOODY APPOLOGIES! Guess what? We're back on schedule now! So...**

**Here is chapter 9, fast and daily like I said! I TOLD YOU I would update fast! Tee hee hee.**

**In this chapter, well um... ahehehe... It's the morning after Marik and Bakura well... you know. And remember when I said I would punish Bakura off-screen? Well guess what? This will be the one and only time that Bakura will wish he didn't have any screen time.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia World Series, Google, Bakura's hair, or Marik's [EFF!] sound EFFect. _I do, however, own Marik's random Hetalia fan-ness, and his pancake-making skills.

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Marik had gotten up long before Bakura did so they wouldn't fight over the bathroom. When he got back to his room, he had found something of Bakura's on his bed, along with a note from someone VERY important. "Is she serious...?" he says aloud.

He decided to hide it.

His memory is suddenly wiped of having hid it. "Wait... What was I doing?"

The front door slammed open.

Wait, the front door?

"_MARIK! I'M GOING TO BLOODY KILL YOU AND THIS TIME I BLOODY MEAN IT_!"

Uh oh... Bakura is pissed off about something...

"And I mean that litterally. I will kill you and it will be _VERY_ bloody."

Marik froze in fear.

Marik heard Bakura running into his room and opening one of his drawers.

The door slammed open and Bakura stomped in looking absolutely outraged. There was an aura of flames around him. His head was down and his fists clenched so tightly that Marik could see his veins. He was wearing huge sunglasses, a sweater, stretchy jeans (which he looked _very_ sexy in), and mismatched socks suggesting that he had put them on hastily. But Bakura hadn't gone to bed in any of those. And Marik should know ;D.

"What's with the outfit? You look stupid."

Bakura looked up and removed the sunglasses and unziped the sweater, revealing feiry red eyes and a black tank top underneath.

Marik took one look at his face and skin and burst out laughing. "You...AHAhahahahahaa! Your face! It's HAHHAHAHAHA! You look so ridiculous!"

Bakura wasn't wearing any eyeliner. He looked so weird without it on! _And_ his skin was all red. Sunburned red.

The laughing made Bakura even angrier. "You... Did... This... I'm-"

"What did I do?!"

"You moved me outside while I slept and I woke up with the worst sunburn ever. I can't go out in the sun without putting on sunscreen or else I burn up within minutes! And you stole my eyeliner too! So I decided that I'm going to kill you. And I swear to Zorc's mother that I am not joking this time..." He put the sweater back on but didn't zip it back up.

Bakura held out a hand, which Marik had originally failed to notice held the Millenium Ring. All five points were standing up straight and sturdy.

NOW Marik knew Bakura meant business. If Bakura was simply going to hurt him, he would simply be holding a sharp object such as a knife in his hand. But he was using the Millenium Ring as his weapon of choice. Which meant that he was 100% serious about this.

Of course, even Marik wasn't dumb enough to do something so stupid like this. So who did? Still... Bakura looked pretty pissed and agonized. And ridiculous. Marik continued laughing. "I'm sorry, Fluffy! You just look so ridiculous like that! Hahahahahahhahha!"

"Marik..."

"Hahahahahahaaaa!" Marik actually was having trouble breathing from laughing so hard. His face started getting red as well. "You-"

"_MARIK IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU BUT I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU NOW! AND YOU AREN'T EVEN GETTING A SHADOW GAME DEATH_!"

Marik actually stopped laughing for a few moments to appropriately react to the situation. Wasn't he special enough to get one of Bakura's special Shadow Games? "Now wait a minute Bakura I didn't HOLY [EFF!]!" Bakura had lunged at Marik, Ring ready to strike. At the last second, Marik held up the Millenium Rod and evaded the attack. "Whoa-ly crap! Bakura I didn't do it!"

"YES YOU BLOODY DID! WHO ELSE WOULD HAVE DONE THIS!"

"UHHHHHH!" Suddenly, Marik remembered the note. He pushed Bakura back and dived for it; it had fallen off the bed when Bakura had lunged at him. "The authoress's oh Ra Bakura don't kill me I'm too sexy to die!"

He threw the note at Bakura, but since it was paper it just fluttered in a circle back to him. It landed on his head.

Bakura recovered from being pushed back and lunged over the bed at Marik again. When he did, he made the note fly off of Marik and hit him in the face. He decided to calm down for a second and read it. He gasped.

Dear Marik,  
I hope you had fun playing with Bakura in the previous  
chapter. But remember when I said I'd punish him twice?  
This is the second time. Someone named Dynamte and  
Soup suggested I do this to him. Take his eyeliner, hide  
it, then RUN! Good luck and try to survive until the next  
chapter!  
~Aquailita

Bakura crumpled the note and threw it so hard at the wall that it made a dent. "I am going to kill her. And Dynamyte and Soup. I should have done it when I was in Thiefslipping! But I suppose I might as well kill her here. Wait..." Bakura suddenly considered something and forced himself to calm down a bit to ask about it. "Marik, is she posting this as a chapter? She said that the second punishment would be off-screen."

"I believe she is."

Our dear old Fluffy looked absolutely shocked. His face grew redder, if that was even possible, out of embarassment.

He suddenly appeared hunched up in a corner of the room, having made an emo corner for himself. "Remember what I said about you dying, Marik? Nevermind. I'M going to die. I swear I feel like becoming emo right now and killing myself."

"How emo?"

"Saskue-emo."

"OH MY FRIG BAKURA NO! THAT'S TOO EMO FOR YOU! DON'T DIE!" Marik ran over to him, crouched next to him, and hugged him. "If it makes you feel any better, I think you look cool like that. Like your skin was painted by the devil himself and your skin is marked with his blood."

"Don't even _try_ to cheer me up. You said that I looked ridiculous and laughed at me. And ouch. Let go of me I'm bloody sunburned."

"Oh right." Marik let go. "You um... want me to get some sunburn ointment?" Bakura looked up with a very sad, emo, pouty, and embarrased expression on his face and nodded. "Kay." Marik left the room to get something for Bakura's extreeme sunburn which was really extreeme. Like Yuma extreeme. You can tell because he has really pale skin and right now he's as red as one of Spain's fruity tomatoes (yes it's a fruit).

He returned with the cream, and also retrieved the stolen eyeliner from its hiding place, and handed them to the very upset Egyptian/ British evil spirit, still in his emo corner. Said emo-cornered evil spirit took them and mumbled a "thank you" to him. Then he quickly left his emo corner and ran to his room before Marik- or worse, more readers- could get a better look at him.

Marik moved back to his bed and sat down with a sigh. He stared at the door across the hall. Poor Fluffy...humiliated by fangirls and for fangirls. But it was still pretty funny. Marik let out another laugh.

"MARIK YOU GITFACE I HEARD THAT!"

"Eep! Sorry!"

—

Bakura came out about ten minutes later. By that time, Marik had already started making breakfast for the both of them.

He came out without the sweater on and had changed into baggy shorts. His skin was still red, but slightly whiter because of the cream he had put on.

He ignored Marik for a while and made himself some tea- another bad sign, as he usually drank coffee and only gave in to his British body's urges when he was really upset.

He sat at at the table and moped for a little while, his skin redder around his face because he was still blushing from embarrasment. "Bloody authoress," he mumbled.

"That should teach you not to mess with the authors when the story is abridged and the author is one of your fangirls. Didn't you learn your lesson in the 333 ways story by sailorblaze and Yami the Dark? And in 'Question Time!'?"

"Ugh... Don't remind me. By the way what's for breakfast? I was fuming too much to pay attention while I was over there."

Marik answered with a grin. He turned around and didn't say anything. But he didn't need to. The smell of it reached Bakura's nose. His eyes widened. His head hit the table and he closed his eyes halfway, and began drooling. He perked up when Marik brought his breakfast over: steak, juicy and almost raw. Just he way he liked it. Marik shook his head as he set the plate down. "Your eating preferences are weird," he said.

Bakura licked his lips, then smirked and side-glanced at Marik. "What? No steak knife?"

"I _have_ a brain you know." Marik leaned an arm on Bakura's chair.

"Could have fooled me."

"Shut up and stop complaining. I sometimes wonder why I do so much for you."

Bakura picked up the steak with his fork and stared at it. He knew that what he was about to do was popular and at the moment he didn't really love his fangirls, especially Aquailita and Dynamite and Soup, so he didn't really want to let them enjoy this scene. But the urge to violently tear into his food was too great and he ripped the steak apart violently (ad very sexily) with his teeth.

*several fangirls swoon and squeal and nosebleed at the scene*

Marik had taken a step back to aviod getting food on his clothes because Bakura always ate steak very messily.

Bakura turned around and looked at Marik. He examined his face, then turned around and got a napkin for Marik. He held it out. "Nose," was all he said.

Marik took a second to realize what he meant, then blushed and took the tissue. "Uh... Thanks."

"No propblem. And that is also the reason why you do so much for me."

"Wha?"

Bakura rubbed the side of his nose in response.

"Oh, shut up."

"You shut up!"

Marik sighed and smiled, then wiped up the last of the blood. "I hate you, Kura."

Bakura smiled back. "I hate you too, Marik."

* * *

**I will update chapters more rapidly than I usually do, because I already have pretty much the whole thing typed out on my iPod and I just have to edit it and put it into chapters.**

**Next chapter, we get a nice little ending. Yes. That's right. This story is almost over NOOOOOOOOOOOHOHOOOOOOOOHOOHO OOOOOO~!  
But it's okay! Thanks for everyone who stuck with me through this~!**

**Oh and HEY!  
****Yes. HEY.  
****Because in this fic, HEY.**

**H**air  
**E**quals  
**Y**aoi

**Pretty clever, right!?**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEE~!**


	10. The Last Chapter! and De-MindSlaving!

**Here is chapter 10, fast and daily like I said! I TOLD YOU I would update fast! Tee hee hee.**

**SORRY TO SAY! But this is the last chapter NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!  
I wish it wasn't so. But it is. **

**But let's not be sad yet! We still have this last chapter~! It's short, but nice! AND IT INVOLVES CARDS!**

**Here we go!**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia World Series, Google, Bakura's hair (I wish), or Marik's [EFF!] sound EFFect. _I do, however, own Marik's random Hetalia fan-ness, and his pancake-making skills.

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Later, Marik snuck into Bakura's room and took another peek at the "10 Most Hated Shippings" list. He needed a refresher on it.

It read:

10)Deathshipping  
9)Fragileshipping  
8)Angstshipping  
7)Yuumeishipping  
6)Casteshipping  
5)Psychoshipping  
4)Cleptoshipping  
3)Vexshipping  
2)Hateshipping  
1)Darkshipping

When he was done reading, Marik wondered aloud, "How does he remember all of the people in these?" He glanced down and was surprised to see another list right where the first one was. He picked it up and read it. This one was a list of Bakura's "Five Most LIKED Shippings". Marik had never seen this list before.

It read:

5)Deathshipping

_Why does he have that twice?_ Marik wondered.

4)Drinkshipping  
3)Harpoonshipping  
2)Tendershipping

And the number one on the list...

1)Thiefshipping

Marik smiled when he read that. Nice to know that Bakura cared more for him than for Ryou. But it was obvious anyway.

Suddenly, the list was snatched from his hands so quickly that the paper cut his hand. "[EFF!]ing dammit!" he shouted before turning around. He was face-to-face with Bakura. "Uhhhhhh..."

Bakura sighed and shook his head. He gently took the other list out of Marik's other hand and put them back where they were. "Marik, get out of my room please."

"Make me." (=3=)

Bakura did just that. He picked up Marik and carried him out of his room bridal-style. He wanted to carry Marik far so he could run back to his room before Marik could, so he carried him all the way to he living room.

While they walked, Marik smiled and wrapped his arms around Bakura's neck. Bakura smiled back. "How's your neck?"

Marik touched a hand to the bandage on his neck where Bakura had bit him yesterday. He didn't know because he hadn't taken it off. But it felt better and didn't ache anymore. "Getting better. But you bit so hard... That hurt you know. You keep injuring me..." He reached up to touch Bakura's hair.

Bakura shied away from the touch, thinking that Marik was after...

Oh wait nevermind. Marik was only petting him again.

When Bakura stayed silent while being petted, Marik got confused. "Huh? Kura... My kitty is broken."

"I'm not broken, Marik," Bakura said with a laugh. "I'm not a kitty cat. And I've learned to control my...instincts..."

They had reached the living room. Bakura tried to toss him on the couch, but Marik was still holding onto his neck so he was pulled down with him.

"Well I like it when you purr like that. Makes you seem more normal."

"Alright, Marik," Bakura said with a sigh. "I admit that I may act and feel like a feline, but I am actually not a cat."

"I don't believe you."

Unable to think of anything else to say, Bakura simply said, "Shut up, Marik," and pressed their lips together.

Marik started petting Bakura again. This time he heard the purr, but it was very low and _almost_ inaudible. He stopped stroking and pulled away. "Ha! I heard you doing it again!" He reached for Bakura's bat wings again and gently traced one with his finger.

Bakura closed his eyes and shuddered with a small smile. He gently slapped Marik's hand away. "Not now, Marik. Maybe later. I'm doing something important."

"Me?"

"Haha. No. Apparently the Pharaoh Mind Crushed your Steves again and got away."

Marik's face went all serious. "What?!" He let go of Bakura and sat up. Bakura sat next to him. "When did you find this out?"

"Look." Bakura turned on the TV and flipped to the news channel.

"So apparently, the two officers were trying to arrest this boy when they both blacked out. Tell us again sir what happened."

Officer Stevenson appeared on camera. "Well as Officer Steve was taking him back to the car, I heard him say something. I turned around. All I remember after that was him saying 'MIND CRUSH!' and then we blacked out. When I came to, I remembered was the dead body and falling down. I also discovered that I no longer felt like being a Rare Hunter anymore. Whatever that is."

Marik slammed his fist against the seat of the couch. "Dammit! The Pharaoh keeps Mind Crushing my Mind Slaves into freedom! Out of all seven of us, why does _he_ get the Mind Crushing powers?"

"There there," Bakura coaxed as he rubbed Marik's back soothingly. "It's really ironic because of Slavemas."

"Oh so that really happened?"

"Yup."

"Huh."

"And I'm pretty sure it's the Puzzle, not him. He didn't have those powers 5000 years ago. Otherwise I would have lost much more miserably."

"Speaking of losing..." Marik said with a smirk. "I'm bored. Wanna play a children's card game?"

Bakura cheered up considerably. "Are you seriously challenging me to a Shadow Game?"

"No! _Card_ game, not _Shadow_ game. A regular one."

"Ooooorrrr..." Bakura took his deck out of his pocket and waved it at Marik. "You ever heard of Strip Poker?"

"Yes?" Marik replied innocently. "Why?"

Bakura suggestively raised an eyebrow at him.

"Wha- Ohhhhhhhhh... I get it. Yeah let's play."

_And the sexiness goes on..._

* * *

**_The End~!_**

* * *

**WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH IT'S OVER! This is sad. But it was a very good story! I had fun! Right, Kura?  
*****mumbles and throws knife at me*  
*****dodges* He had fun too.**

**But don't fret! Maybe I'll do a follow-up story! Like a sequel or something! Tee hee hee! But I don't know if I'm up to the task or if I feel like i-  
****"Don't you already have it ty-"  
****RYOU! SH! Get back in there! *shoos him away*  
****Ahehe... hehehe...**

**Anyway so this is ta-ta-for-now! Thanks to all the reviewers, favoriters, followers, and readers! Special thanks to Rueky and D&S!**

**See you next time!**

**BYEEEEEEE~!**


End file.
